Wight Wedding Blog

Who’s who at your wedding?

Although we might not have all thought about the details of how our wedding day may go, we are almost all aware of the roles that seem to typically make up the bridal party. You may have attended a few weddings or even been lucky enough (or unlucky depending on your experience) to have fulfilled one of the roles.

You may have a choice of people as big as your ‘list of things I’ve tried to give up for lent and new year’ and you’re struggling not to offend anyone, or it may have been an unspoken decision from the small circle of friends you know will do the job well.

Job?? Well it could turn out that way, if they’re very capable and enthusiastic. Each experience is different and it may be chosen or inevitable, if you are the mother of the bride then you are the mother of the bride (even if she turns bridzilla, she is still yours and it’s worth preparing for).  People typically think there are tasks that each person must complete, when really there are stereotypical expectations.

Generally all of the people involved in your bridal party are there to support you as a couple, plan and get through your wedding day unscathed. However, if you did want to make demands of them then these are the general stereotypes. Also, if you are struggling to find a way of involving all your nearest and dearest then take a look at these roles and see if there is something for Nephew Noah!

Maid of honour or chief bridesmaid

A position in the bridal party not to be sniffed at and to be selected carefully as this is going to be the right hand girl to the bride through most of the experience. A best friend or sister is normally chosen, someone who knows you well and can help you in making decisions, calming and relaxing you when the stress starts to kick in.

She may well:

·      Come with you to try on dresses for an honest opinion

·      Be the one who organises chaos on your hen do

·      Offer her hands when completing the D.I.T task you set yourself

·      Co-ordinate with the essential people on the day when you are fiddling with the lace up back on your dress or you’re having a private moment with dad adjusting your veil

·      Carry the train and bottom of your dress – of course – oh and lift it when you realise you can’t see past your dress to put your shoes on

·      Even say a few words at the meal?! (not unheard of)

Among other reasonable requests…

 

Bridesmaid

You can choose anything from 1 – 8,9 or 10 ladies to accompany you down the aisle. In fact you can have as many as you want but just have a brief thought for the dresses, shoes, jewellery, hair accessories and bouquets they might need. Just check your budget allows for it all.

Bridesmaids can assist the maid of honour with duties to alleviate stress for the bride, make up the firm numbers for the hen do and of course to look pretty in the theme on the day. Typically, many moons ago, they were of a marriageable age for the purposes of match making perhaps. They do say a wedding can be a good place to meet someone (perhaps explore that in a future post), especially as you can pair them up with the groomsmen!

 

Junior bridesmaid

Now these are the young ladies who are too young to perhaps get involved in as much of the ‘doing’ as a bridesmaid or maid of honour, but would like to be a part of the day. They are someone who you would like to have a more meaningful part in the day or that expect to be involved.

Every young girl loves the thought of wearing a bridesmaid dress and perhaps starting the dream of their own big day in the future, a few years mind (which I’m sure their fathers will remind them of).

 

Flower girl

Now brace yourself for a bucket of cute that is a flower girl. Not always but invariable, little sweet young (but of walking age) children who will cause your guests to exclaim how sweet they are. May even cause the odd glance from a woman to her man that reads ‘Can we have one of those?’

Traditionally scattering petals or small flowers down the aisle ahead of the bride, but these days they can carry a bouquet or your handheld creation of choice. We have seen some pictures of flower girls and pageboys holding signs with funny or heartfelt messages on them. Find them on our Pinterest mood board.

Best Man

Being the best man is a high accolade normally reserved for a close male friend or family member chosen by the groom. He will be responsible for 2 important aspects of the wedding in the eyes of the men; the stag do and the speech.

A stag do amongst men can incite the same sort of fever that the Olympics caused. Sounds like an exaggeration but sometimes it seems more of an event than the wedding day itself and gains many male brownie points for the chosen best man.

On the day it isn’t just the other men that look forward to the Best Man speech, it is most of the room.  It has a certain amount of power and the potential for laughs, sentiment, honesty, insight and to make the groom squirm. We aren’t nasty but they do usually get off lightly in the lead up to the wedding, so why not.

An essential part is assisting the Groom with his meeting and greeting duties at the ceremony venue and to calm his nerves whilst he waits for his fashionably late bride to walk down the aisle. Again there are other reasonable requests to be made of this important friend in your life to ensure the day runs smoothly.

 

Groomsmen

Men tend to be social beings and can have just as much of a tough time as the bride can when picking a best man. If there are more of the grooms male friends and family that they would like to be involved in the day then a position as a groomsman is up for grabs.

Again, as many as you would like but spare a thought for your budget and the need for suits, shoes, shirts, ties and button holes. If you have the budget or have decided for them to come in their own suits then pick away. Groomsmen can help the Best Man in his duties, pair up with bridesmaids down the aisle and assist with ushering guests to their seats.  The best man may even have props for his speech which need carrying!

 

Ushers

And finally…. the Ushers are members of the bridal party that help in guiding people to their seats or around a venue at the ceremony and perhaps even at your reception venue. You may anticipate people with mobility problems or perhaps guests with children and buggies needing extra assistance and it always makes the experience less stressful if there is a pleasant well dressed person ready to greet you and take you to your seat. 

They can also communicate issues back to the groomsmen and best man meaning the responsibility is shared out. Just make sure you give them a briefing before or early on in the day so they have the information to help, otherwise you might find them at your side every 2 minutes.

Ring bearer

Well as the title implies this person is responsible for looking after the rings and in most cases will keep them close while being ready to provide them when the moment is right. Some couples will decide that this is a responsibility for the best man to take on, as he will be by the groom’s side throughout the ceremony.

Our take is that they can be young or old, male or female and in some cases could be from the animal kingdom.  Perhaps this is Nephew Noah’s time to shine? (not dressed as a dog we might add). Although if you choose an Animal it should be a fairly obedient one and there should be a pretty reliable way of securing the rings to them.

Having a ring bearer can offer creative and sweet ways to store and reveal the rings at the right moment, so if you are feeling imaginative why not make this a role with substance.

 

Now you may still have other people you need to find roles for or you may look at a part of your day you think may go wrong or not reach it’s full potential. So make like the HR function of a business and make a title up. Stop those elements being something you need to think about by asking someone else to check up on it every now and again.

 

Guestbook attendant

Asking people to write a message to record their attendance at your wedding and their experiences on the day is a nice memento of the day, but we have all been at a wedding and been swept along in the drinks reception to meal through speeches and cake cutting to first dance and the bar. It is easily forgotten about once someone has taken it to table 4 and left it on a seat there. If someone is willing to encourage people to write in it for you then you may find you end up with a really full and interesting read.

 

Disposable cameras

A great D.I.T idea which can get you some really natural and fun shots of your day, as unfortunately there are always going to be parts you will both miss. However, sometimes they can be forgotten about or once full left in the last spot a picture was taken. Why not asking someone to encourage people to use them and to collect any they spy as being full. Put them to one side ready to be taken home and developed.

 

Reader

Rather than your priest, registrar or celebrant reading for you, you could ask friends and family to get involved and read a prayer, poem or story for you both. Just check how much time you have and whether they will feel confident to read on the day.

Within reason if there’s something you have planned for your day that you would like to be taken care of or checked on then you could ask someone to do that for you. More often than not people enjoy getting involved and helping so it wouldn’t hurt to ask to take another thing off your mind. Just be careful you don’t make something that isn’t an ‘important role’ sound like one – perhaps just make a request for their help.

If you have been asked to fulfil one of the positions in the bridal party mentioned today and would like to share your experiences then get in touch.

 

Wight Wedding Days X